Why people doing favors and giving freebies can put us on edge

Why people doing favors and giving freebies can put us on edgeWhy people doing favors and giving freebies can put us on edgeGetting a basket of free goodies sent to us at work may bring some of us elation. But for some of us, these kinds of freebies put us on edge. If youre one of the many people who walk down the free sample aisle at the mall with dread, theres a scientific name for what youre feeling reciprocity anxiety, a termthe authors behind a new Journal of Economic Psychology study defined as feeling anxious in a situation that requires them to reciprocate or when they anticipate such a situation.Reciprocity anxiety is why freebies make us uncomfortableThe team of researchers developed an 11-item scale you can consult to see if you experience this particular kind of social anxiety. Here are some of themIll never ask for help if I dont have to, to avoid owing othersUsually, I dont accept favors unless I am sure I can pay back all the favors quicklyI hesitate to ask for help be cause then I dont need to think about what I might give in returnIm restless and on edge when I owe someoneIf you feel reciprocity anxiety, you do not take comfort from what people give you you worry about what this favor means you now owe. You may be struck by the urge to avoid any kind of social obligation you will need to reciprocate and are distressed at the thought that you may have to pay someone back. Instead of seeing a favor as a freebie, you fixate on perceived unseen strings attached. You may see relationships as more transactional. When a coworker offers to pick up the check, you focus more on the anxiety that you will need to pay for their lunch next time.In one experiment, participants were asked to imagine getting a free drink at a store. Participants who scored high in reciprocity anxiety said they felt less customer satisfaction at this freebie and would be less willing to return to the store. For some of us, getting freebies perks us up. But if someone rebuffs your favor, do not take it personally recognize that these socially anxious recipients may be seeing a different message than what you are seeing. You are signaling generosity, but your recipient is seeing dollar signs.

3 Career Mistakes to Avoid When You Hate Your Job -The Muse

3 Career Mistakes to Avoid When You Hate Your Job -The Muse3 Career Mistakes to Avoid When You Hate Your Job There are plenty of things you could do to cope when you hate your job. You could vent. You could try to find a solution. Or, you could throw yourself into a job search because you cant stomach the idea of going back for one more day. All three of those moves are reasonable. But what you cant do is make the following three mistakes because theyll only hurt your reputation and career. And thats notlage good for you at all.1. You Cant Stop CaringOK, thats not entirely fair. Im not telling you to find a way to be passionate about a gig that you just cant stand. But you cant flaunt your feelings in a way thats disrespectful to everyone around you. For example, just because youre not pumped to start your day doesnt make it OK to casually stroll into work 30 minutes late with your headphones blasting while everyone else is trying to work.Nor is it acceptable to completely mail it i n because you couldnt care less if a project or task even gets done. This behavior doesnt just affect your co-workers, but eventually you, too. Remember The people sitting in that room are your future references and you want to leave this job on the most positive note possible. Not to mention, its probably not their fault that youre no longer fulfilled, so taking it out on them makes you a crappy co-worker (and if it is their fault, consider this great practice in dealing with challenging people). 2. You Cant Avoid Looking for a New JobTheres probably at least a little part of you who thinks that no matter how badeanstalt your job is, youre just way too tired to go home after a long day of work and start looking for something new. And I get it. Doing something you dont enjoy is exhausting. The problem is that nobodys going to do this for you, so youre going to be stuck at your job indefinitely if you constantly avoid it.Want to make the whole thing easier to swallow? Block out time for searching on your calendar for an hour here and there throughout the week. Youll quickly notice that having a regularly scheduled block (or blocks) of time set aside will not only make you hate job searching less, but youll maybe look forward to cranking out a few applications in the time youve set aside for yourself. Just one more thing you can check off your to-do list.READY TO MAKE A CAREER MOVE LIKE YESTERDAY?Trust us, we know the feeling. Thats why we have 10,000+ jobs waiting for you.landsee all of them here 3. You Cant Keep it to YourselfI know you might be thinking, Im being a good trooper. Why should anyone know how much I cant stand this place? Your resilience is admirable, but the truth is that at some point, youll bottle up a lot of frustration to the point where you take it out on someone (or something) in an incredibly unproductive way. Not only that, but theres really nothing to gain from trying to figure it all out yourself. While you might think that your closes t friends and family appreciate the fact that youre not bothering them about whats happening at work, the truth is that they probably have a feeling that things arent awesome right now anyway. So go ahead and trust them with what youre thinking. And dont worry- if they run out of things to say to make you feel better or get sick of hearing you complain, theyll let you know.As a band I still love once sang Work sucks, I know. I want nothing more than for you to find something that you love to do for money, and I completely understand your predicament. It might be hard to drag yourself to the office to do that thing you hate to do, but you that doesnt give you free reign to start behaving unprofessionally on the job. Youre better than that and you owe it to future you to step it up a notch.

This Should Be Your Work-Life Balance Mantra - The Muse

This Should Be Your Work-Life Balance Mantra - The Muse This Should Be Your Work-Life Balance Mantra What’s the difference between a car and a human being? A car is efficient. A human is not. Let me explain: A car only has one job- to go fast in a certain direction. And that’s why it can be so efficient. Humans, on the other hand, have many jobs. Therefore, it’s impossible for us to do them all well. We cannot possibly be perfect employees, perfect friends, and perfect at every other activity all at once. No matter how many multitasking articles we read. Rather than continuing to strive for 100% in every area of your life, watch this video from The School of Life and remind yourself that you aren’t a car- and that “everything worth fighting for unbalances your life.” Photo of woman running courtesy of Shutterstock.

How to Ask Your Boss for Regular Check-ins - The Muse

How to Ask Your Boss for Regular Check-ins - The Muse How to Ask Your Boss for Regular Check-ins So, you’re feeling really disconnected from your boss. You like them, but you never seem to be on the same page. They’re always assigning you new projects but never giving you feedback, or they’re in so many meetings that you rarely see them. This is why having regular one-on-ones with your boss is so important- it helps you address concerns in the moment, get your questions answered, and build a rapport with your boss that makes your working relationship more cohesive, productive, and honest. Of course, this isn’t always the case at some companies. Maybe it’s not their policy, or your manager oversees so many people it would be hard for them to meet with everyone. That said, it never hurts to ask! So, what exactly can you say to convince them to set aside some time for you? Your email could look something like this: Hi [Manager’s Name], I really appreciated meeting with you about [discussion you met about recently]. It was incredibly helpful in [what you got out of the meeting]. As a result, I was wondering if we could schedule regular check-ins together? Even if it’s just for 10-15 minutes a week, I’d love to be able to bounce ideas off you and keep you updated on what I’m working on, as well as give you an opportunity to give me any constructive feedback you might have on my work. I’m happy to work around your schedule, as well as make it a biweekly or monthly meeting instead. Please let me know if this might be possible and what works best for you. Thank you! [Your Name] Or, you can bring it up when you have some time alone together: I’ve noticed that when we meet together in person to discuss [topic] I’m more confident in my approach. So, I was wondering if you might consider having regular one-on-ones together? I imagine we won’t have urgent stuff to talk about every week, but I’d love to have some time for just us two to go over what you expect of me and how I can better work with you. As you might notice, the key is to emphasize why it’s beneficial for them- because it’ll help you be a better employee to manage, and help them streamline the work they give you. Along those same lines, it’s just as important to give them options and say you’re open to adjusting the schedule and agenda once you both get into the swing of things. Maybe a weekly meeting feels excessive and you run out of things to talk about, or maybe you agree to send status updates in advance so the time can be spent discussing bigger topics. Regardless of what you decide upon, know that setting up this meeting is truly managing up 101. You not only make your life easier, but by being so proactive you make yourself look pretty damn good in your manager’s eyes.

How to Scope Out an Office That Fits Your Values

How to Scope Out an Office That Fits Your Values How to Scope Out an Office That Fits Your Values Compartmentalizing is so 2000. A slight blurring of the lines between work and home is actually the norm now, and office designs need to reflect that. Working in an office that reflects your own values is not only a possibility today, but it’s  also an element you should seek out on the job hunt. Etsy   wanted the design of its new offices , for example, to reflect its customers’ and employees’ attention to economic, social and environmental concerns. The beautiful new space, furnished with pieces made by Etsy sellers and local artists, meets sustainability standards and encourages creative collaboration.  People who share those values would not only find a comfortable home in such a space, but would also instinctively embrace these values in their interactions with customers. When job hunting, consider these aspects to find an office space that reflects your values. Browse photos inside of your ideal companies on Glassdoor. Employer profiles feature snapshots and videos that can help you make the best decision for your next big job. Companies that take your needs into account know location is key. Our offices are five blocks from the beach in a neighborhood rich with great food, happy hours and a bustling social scene. This fun atmosphere gets our team stoked not only about working at Hawke, but also about working together. When they’ve been slamming their heads against the wall for hours on end, our teammates can say, “F*ck it. Let’s go for sushi and a beer.” They can cut out for a bit, fuel up and then come back to make up the few hours they spent at the bar, making it easy to be social and get real with each other. In this virtuous cycle, your co-worker becomes a human, not just the guy who pulls Google Analytics data. Offices that feel like busy coffee shops get old fast. Open, 100 percent flexible workspaces are all the rage, but believe me - working in your   own  space is so much better. You want a desk, at least, where you can set a picture, stash a few snacks and have a sense of ownership. Studies show  that workers in open spaces tend to be more distracted, less collaborative and even less friendly. Bottom line: Your own space is better for you and for the company. Are the walls, tables and common spaces fun? Do you have cool art or pictures of the team - something to instill pride when they look around? Your new company’s office should feel like a cool hotel or a buddy’s bitchin’ penthouse, not a cubicle farm. Signs of individuality mean you’ll likely be able to express your personality at work, too. While some employers might worry that such an environment would be distracting, research shows that people who can add personal touches to the office actually work   15 percent faster  and experience fewer health issues than those in minimalist spaces. Leadership shouldn’t be cut off from the team. In our office, each team’s director sits with his or her squad, making open communication, problem-solving and course corrections easier and less stressful. It’s a two-way street - if I’m sitting within speaking distance of my direct reports, they’re always ready to help me prepare for a meeting or write an email, and vice versa. What’s more, a study found that   10 percent of performance  is driven by that of a worker’s office neighbors. If you see team leads or managers and employees working in one space together, rest assured that your productivity and growth won’t be hindered by miscommunication or slacking co-workers. Ping-Pong tables and amazing cafeterias are nice, but the truth is you’ll spend most of your day at your desk, not playing video games and snacking. Some people assume the best younger employees will demand “fun” workspaces. In reality, fun and creativity are   more important to professionals of yesteryear . If the workplace is too much fun, you’ll never want to leave - and that’s no accident. Such a space might be designed to encourage people to put in long hours and late nights. (If you see bunk beds, run.) At our company, we try to kick people out after a certain point every night to ensure they maintain a balanced personal work-life integration. We want to keep them happy and productive, after all, and working them 24/7 won’t do the trick. In the end, how a company designs its office space reflects its values and shows how closely they mirror your own. Finding one whose values match yours - and that attends to the needs of its employees - will go a long way toward ensuring that you’re happy not only when you go home at night, but also while you give it your all - all day long. Tony Delmercado is the COO at   Hawke Media , a passionately curious entrepreneur, and an all-around solid dude. He enjoys building businesses, playing golf, improving his Krav Maga and jiujitsu game, writing, studying business tax loopholes, and eating Mexican food. He spends his weekends at the T&A Bungalow in Chesterfield Square hanging with his wife, Anthea; his son, Onyx; and his dog, Naz.

The Dos and Donts of Dressing as a Lady Lawyer

The Dos and Donts of Dressing as a Lady Lawyer The Dos and Donts of Dressing as a Lady Lawyer As a woman, it is difficult enough to figure out how to dress without hearing other people’s opinions on the matter.   Unfortunately, people have a lot of opinions! Dressing as a lady lawyer is one of the most talked about topics when it comes to the dress code for lawyers in general, and it’s worth discussing some of the dos and don’ts of the clothes women are wearing to their legal jobs. Do Dress Conservatively One thing is for certain- Ally McBeal did not dress appropriately. Her skirts were too short, and her blouses showed too much cleavage, at least by courtroom standards. Lady lawyers should make sure that their outfits ?cover them in such a way that their clothing does not distract from the point they are trying to make. Practicing the law is all about using your brain, so your intelligence should be your most prominent feature. Pantsuits and skirt suits are safe options here, along with moderately comfortable shoes (read: not stilettos, but also not crocks).?? Don’t Wear Clothes that Don’t Fit While showing too much skin is distracting, wearing ill-fitting clothes is also cause for alarm when it comes to wardrobe. One of the most important things to remember when choosing work clothing is to make sure you’re buying what fits you- feeling good in your clothes is half the battle. Do Show Your Sense of Style It has been discussed before, but there is nothing wrong with weaving some of your own style into your business wardrobe. Do you have a favorite color? Wear that color shirt under your suit jacket. Do you like sparkly things? Include one accessory, as long as it’s not distracting. Just because you’re in a stuffy courtroom doesn’t mean that your style has to be stifled. Just remember- the other people in the room should notice your intelligence before they notice what you wear. As long as you follow that rule of thumb, you should be just fine. Don’t Go Overboard As previously stated, you are free to include your fashion sense into your wardrobe but don’t overdo it. Just because you like sequins doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to wear a bedazzled jacket in court. Find understated ways to show your personality, and you can’t go wrong. Do Follow Any Explicit Dress Codes Does your firm or court have a specific and explicit dress code? Don’t even dream of not following it! That is the easiest way for you to go wrong with dressing as a lady lawyer. Dress codes are in place for a reason (even if the reason doesn’t seem to make sense). Nothing says “unprofessional” like someone who blatantly disregards the dress code. If you want the freedom to start incorporating your own style into your wardrobe, start by making sure everything follows the dress code and build from there. Don’t Tolerate People Telling You How to Dress Aside from a written wardrobe policy, you shouldn’t have to tolerate others commenting on what you wear on a daily basis. It is a growing trend in the legal realm- everyone from law school professors to judges seem to think they should have a say in what female lawyers wear to work. And their statements are all over the map- some think skirts are distracting while others think pantsuits are too masculine. To all the lady lawyers out there- you do you, as long as it’s within reason.   Dressing as a female lawyer isn’t always easy- there is a fine line that must be carefully balanced upon, like a tightrope. The most important thing to remember is that you should be able to keep your own sense of style while still following all the dress codes applicable to the courtroom. Don’t let the myriad of voices bother you too much!

The Dos and Donts for writing your first post-grad resume

The Do’s and Don’ts for writing your first post-grad resume The Do’s and Don’ts for writing your first post-grad resume If you’ve recently graduated or are about to graduate from college, you’ve (hopefully) started applying to every job you can find that sound like a good fit. Leaving school might feel like starting from scratch, but in college you’ve gained a well-rounded education, a ton of management and leadership skills, and hopefully some work exposure through part-time jobs or semester-long internships. As a post-grad, it can often feel like the whole world is at your fingertips, but you have no clue where to start the career search.